Dear Diary
by insatiablecuriosity
Summary: The Dragonborn has taken a little stray vampire under his wing. References 'Dawnguard' DLC


Originally written for the Skyrim Kink Meme

References the "Dawnguard" DLC. May contain minor spoilers.

Standard disclaimers apply.

* * *

><p>It was a well worn and tattered thing, but the book's value was considerable. Not that there were many who would have paid cold, hard septims for it. But that didn't matter. As any good- shall we say, "middleman"- knew, you didn't need many interested parties. No, you only needed one. Two if you were smart. And this book was worth a pretty sum to two individuals; one who would have paid dearly to have it, and one who would have paid dearly to keep it… But this enterprising figure was not interested in money.<p>

He delicately traced the scarred cover, before turning it over to finger through the dank and dog-eared pages.

_4E 201, date unknown_

_Dear Diary,_

_I no longer remember how long it has been since I was turned. In truth, I never knew the day I WAS turned. Had I known, I would have attended to it much sooner. They say the gods may have mercy on those recently infected._

The figure clicked his teeth in disapproval. Three days was simply unfair. Cruel even. Most people did not know enough about vampirism to realize that they had been infected. _Stupid Nords and their aversion to magic._ Their prejudice meant that few recognized unnatural afflictions till it was far too late to easily remedy. And many were too stubborn to admit to succumbing.

_4E 201, date unknown_

_Dear Diary,_

_I had a dream again. Did I mention that vampires can dream? Apparently they can. Or 'we' can. They don't feel like normal dreams, but they do happen. Sort of. Now you know!_

_I remember how Mother used to try to hide it. She tried to hide it for the longest time. I'm not sure there is a cure, and if there was, I'm not sure we could afford it. Normally we just kill them. Vampires, I mean. Until this, I never used to think of them as people. Well, they're not people really. But they were, once! Unless they were Argonians or something. I've never seen an Argonian vampire before, actually. I wonder if they look as strange to their own, as humans do to theirs?_

The next few pages were filled with homesickness. A mother's determined but fraying love. A father's growing frustration. Denial is a strange thing.

_In the beginning, Mother tried to use makeup. She used to say that I was not wear makeup until I was a proper grown up, because that was part of being a lady. But she said I needed to practice before that happened, when I got sick…_

_… Father eventually made her put a hood on me. And I had to wear gloves, too. I could wear less makeup when I was covered, so I didn't mind it much. But they insisted that I be up during daylight hours. I felt so tired all the time!_

He had to give the girl's mother credit for her ever increasing inventiveness. Still, there was no hiding what had happened behind such flimsy tactics.

_… They stopped letting me out of the house. Mother and Father fought about it. Mother was saying that I would never find a man if I never went outside. Father said that they would never find someone who would want me…_

_… Brother stopped talking to me. He's younger, so I don't blame him for being mad at me. I'm not sure why Sister was so upset. She said she'd never get properly married with me around. I'm not sure why it matters. She wouldn't be staying here if she did. Besides, she was always the pretty one…_

But eventually, the inevitable came to pass.

_... I hadn't meant for it to happen! But normal food made me ill! I couldn't eat, and what little I could I couldn't keep down. But I saw a mouse caught in a trap and I thought that maybe a little taste couldn't hurt! It's not like it was a person or anything!_

He flipped through the next few pages. He knew that story already: the young Breton had never been very graceful, much to her mother's dismay. She didn't take after her boisterous Nord father either, preferring her books and needlework. Nice, quiet, _safe_ activities for a little lady. Not at all suited for sneaking and hunting. Her sister had caught her with the dead mouse in her hands, and everyone assumed the worst.

_4E 201, date unknown_

_Dear Diary,_

_It's been a month since I left home. I miss everyone terribly, but they don't need me there. I'm not sure they wanted me there, anymore. I was constantly getting in the way, and they were having a harder and harder time taking care of me. It's better for everyone this way…_

_… It's getting harder to find food. Skyrim is always cold, but it's the worst in winter. I've been scavenging whatever the wolves leave behind, but it's never enough. I was desperate enough even found the courage to try some dead merchants by the road. I got lucky and found some clean clothes and fresh ink, too…_

_And a good thing, t_oo. She had taken to pricking her finger when she had run out of ink, and found that she had been… 'lacking' in suitable blood. But she made do when in a pinch. She had begun using animal blood, and whatever makeshift inks she tried making from various plants. There was a page or two missing from when she had gotten desperate enough to try eating a page with the blood-ink. An experiment that had gone poorly, as the following pages attested. Shaking his head, he sighed and flipped to the last part of the book.

_4E 201, date unknown_

_Dear Diary,_

_I can't keep this up. I have to find a… 'proper' vampire meal, soon._

_It's so hard to focus, and it's been too long._

_Will try to find a lone traveller soon._

_Wish me luck._

He flipped to the back of the book, and worked his way from there. The last entry was near the end, but had been abandoned before it had been filled.

_4E 201, date unknown_

_Dear Diary,_

_I have the greatest news! Today, I-_

A prim little voice interrupted. "That's not very nice."

The man looked up and smiled unapologetically. "Thief," he chuckled.

"That's not an excuse!" He laughed a little at her outburst. Even when angry, she never raised her voice much. She was far too genteel for that. And she was too cute even when angry! It was almost enough to forget that she served Molag Bal…

"Well, I'm almost done here anyway." He shrugged unapologetically.

That wiped away the pretty little pout she was sporting, right quick. "What?" She panicked, "How could you! That's private…!" She moved, far more quickly than any mortal being, to snatch the book away. He simply raised it up and out of her reach. "But I've only just gotten to the best part!" He laughed.

"You're mean, you know that?" She pouted, still grasping hopelessly for the book.

"That's not what you wrote in here!" He leaned back and twisted away from her, shielding the book with his body. "Let's see now… _'He's so kind and dashingly handsome-'_ Hey!"

The Breton had lunged and finally retrieved her book. Clutching it to her chest, she pouted once more. "You're mean." She asserted yet again.

He chuckled mildly, "I'm the hero, and heroes are above such petty things." He reached over and ruffled her hair affectionately, earning a blush tinged with embarrassed anger.

"You're incorrigible." She sniffed.

"No, I'm the Dragonborn." He grinned.

She sighed and turned to lock the book back in its box. "Why are you so interested in it, anyway? You already know everything."

"Sometimes I like to reminisce about those days."

"You don't need my book for that." She fiddled with the lock. Perhaps a different one would work this time?

He was wearing that ridiculous smile, again. "Maybe not, but it's not the same as reading about your great prowess and plans to take subdue and capture me."

"That was a long time ago!" she dropped the key, "I've gotten much better since then!"

"Only because you have a willing victim." He snorted, not unkindly.

She sighed and stared at the stupid lock. The silly key had fallen through a gap in the floor.

The Dragonborn drawled. "Need help?"

"Yes, please." She sighed.

He spared her any more of his laughter as he came over, but encircled her small form in his as he reached for the lock. She went very still as he did so. She was a vampire, curse it! She was supposed to be the charismatic and alluring one! But his soft breathing, and lean figure pressed up against her back, told her otherwise.

He was done in no time at all but held the lid shut. "So, now that I've done this, what's in it for me?"

"What?" She asked, startled.

She knew he had to be smiling behind her. "Nothing comes for free in this world, my lady."

It was an unspoken thing between them. If it truly was a thing, and not her imagination. One day, one of them would break first, but not today. She had to hold firm and not reward him for being such a jerk. It was the principle of the thing!

Bracing herself, she responded as evenly as she could, "You may borrow it so long as you return it."

"That's all?" He asked incredulously.

She nodded her head definitively. "Yes."

He laughed again.

"What's so funny?" She frowned.

"You've gotten a lot feistier since I first found you." He had the cheek to smirk at her.

Spluttering, she stared, wide-eyed at him. "E- excuse, me?"

"You never used to leave the hut if you could help it."

"That's because people _kill_ things like me!" She wrung her hands anxiously.

He didn't stop there. "You even walk next to me in the market."

"Most people know not to mess with the Dragonborn."

That didn't stop the growing grin on his face. "And yet you insisted on sneaking from shadow to shadow down the street, once upon a time."

Her arms crossed her chest defensively "I didn't want people to notice me."

He raised an eyebrow at that. "And a full-grown woman, running from shadow to shadow, _isn't_ something people would notice?"

"I didn't say I was any good at it." She hugged herself tighter.

"Aww," he patted her on the head, "don't feel so bad about that. You're learning. And that wasn't nearly as odd as when you insisted that I ought to run for my life. What was it that you said...? '_I am the darkness! I am the night!' _"

She blushed furiously. "That was-! I was trying to be a vampire!"

"You don't have to try. You already are one." Would he ever stop smiling?

"But I still don't know what that means." She sighed.

He looked at her carefully for a minute, and she stayed very still, waiting for something she did not yet know.

"I think I know someone you ought to meet." He spoke carefully.

"I don't want to talk to people." She murmured.

"She's not like other people."

"I don't want to talk to vampires."

"She's not like other vampires."

"But what if she-"

He placed his hands on her shoulders, effectively silencing her. "Look. I understand your apprehension. I've survived enough interactions with them to know. But you're going to have to trust me to help you, if you want to stay this way."

His hands were warm and reassuring, but still she kept her silence, and her eyes resolutely trained on the floor.

"Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?" He prodded gently.

She shook her head.

"Have I ever led you wrong before?"

"Not intentionally." She whispered softly.

"And haven't I always tried to rectify that?"

It wasn't a question worth asking. "Yes."

"So, do you trust me?"

She nodded her head.

"Do you trust me enough to go on another adventure?"

She smiled softly to herself. "Yes."

"Well, then!" He ruffled her hair again as he straightened up. "We'd best prepare."

"How far are we going?" She finally looked up.

"Past Riften, near the borders of Cyrodiil and Morrowind." He turned to rifle through a supply chest.

"Do we have to go so far?" She pursed her lips.

He turned and smiled apologetically, "Sadly, yes. But she's there, as well a few other people I'd like you to meet."

"You said nothing about other people!"

"If you're worried about how they'll react to you, it's fine. Isran was the only one being a grump about it. Don't see what he had to complain about with help from two rather formidable vampires, but that's Isran for you." He stuffed a some rations into a pack.

She continued to fret, however. "You said there was only one vampire…"

"Well," he paused in his task again, "There's only one now."

"What happened to the other one?"

"Oh _that_ fellow. Insufferable. I don't think you'd like him very much." He spoke as though he disapproved, but the amusement in his eyes said otherwise.

That made her rather curious. "What makes you say that?"

He was definitely smirking. "Well, you don't like him very much now, so it seems safe to assume you wouldn't like a bigger, stronger, scarier version of him."

She stared at the Dragonborn before her eyes widened in surprise. "_You_ were a vampire?"

"Briefly, yes." He barely contained his laughter.

"How _could_ you, you monster!" She wailed.

"See? I told you, you wouldn't like him. Oof-!" He was interrupted by her beating his back.

"You are such a great big… MEAN person! I could have just asked you for answers all this time!"

Vampire or no, he plucked her hands out of the air and held them steady. So much for that rumoured vampire strength. "Not really. I may have been one for about a week. I knew as much about them then, as you do now." He paused to reconsider. "Maybe a bit more, but I couldn't tell you anything useful about the lifestyle. Only how to stop or kill them."

The Breton stopped struggling. "So why is it that you were willing to be one? Or even be friends with one?"

He smiled. "Because she was the first one who didn't try to kill me. She was the only one willing- or even wanting- to talk."

"So why isn't she with you?"

All traces of amusement disappeared.

"You really want to know?" He asked, wistfully.

She paused at that.

"That's something that only she can answer." He dropped her hands, and resumed packing.

The little vampire stood there uncertainly, and watched the Dragonborn go about his business. "Are you sure you want to see her?"

He stopped and looked her straight in the eyes. "Absolutely." She exhaled a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, but froze up again when he asked a question of his own. "Are you ready to meet her?"

"I hope so." She sighed.

"Cheer up," a bit of that smile of his came back, "You sound like you're going to your death."

"I'm already dead!" She pouted.

He laughed easily, this time. "That's the spirit! Now let's see about getting you packed and ready."

As the Dragonborn started pulling her to the storage chests, she realized that she had begun to be excited for this trip. He was right. She did need to learn how to get by as a vampire if she planned to remain one. Maybe she would change her mind about that, but she knew that no matter what happened, she'd never change her mind about what she'd written about him, those many weeks ago.

_Dear Diary,_

_I have the greatest news! Today, I met a hero! A real, live legend! A great man, though a very strange one. A bit mean, too: he laughed at my foiled plans to kill him...eat him... WHATEVER it is that vampires do. But he's not so bad, really. He's so kind and dashingly handsome. When he wants to be, that is. But I have a good feeling about him. He's the Dragonborn, but that's not why I trust him. I can't explain it. He's just one of those smart, charming people. Again, when he wants to be._

_But ANYWAY. I think my luck is finally turning around! So, I'm going to say goodbye to this part of my life (or 'un-life'?) and look forward to the rest of it! Hopefully he doesn't get me killed (again?)._

_So goodbye, Diary! This is the last entry I'll ever give you, but I'll always treasure and appreciate the simple comfort you gave me._

_With love,_

_Your favorite little vampire_


End file.
